Jan. 23, 2021

Ep 3- What You Can Do Means More Than What You Think

I spoke a little bit, in episode 3, about how hard it was to standby as your child got sick from treatments.  I assume the feeling of wanting to take the sickness away is normal for any parent, but in this case it's just not possible.  You comfort your child the best you can, with words, back rubs, hugs, etc., but as a parent it never feels like you are doing enough.  The only answer I can think of to why that is, would be the fact that the child is still getting sick, and what you are able to do, doesn't fix that.  However, in my experience, you have to be careful with that feeling, because it can make you do too much, and if your child is like ours, he will let you know that you are making it worse more than you are making it better.  You can't blame us though, we are parents, and it's in the parent gene to do whatever it takes, and when that option is taken away or limited, we tend to become more of an annoyance than a help.  I know that may sound harsh, but in this case, with this scenario, it can happen.  If you are a parent going through this journey understand that it's okay that you can't fix the problem.  Even though it may not feel like it to you, focusing on what little you can do, will go a long ways with your child and making them feel better, or at least comforted.  There is nothing you can do to take the sickness away, and no matter how extra you try to be, it will not happen.  A small back rub, may feel like you are useless in the situation, but to that child, it may be just what they needed to make it easier to get through the sickness.  Notice I said get through it, because once again, you won't fix it, so its important to focus on the little things you can do.  Those little things are what brings the child comfort, which during this time, comfort is the best thing you can provide.

 

‎CancerDad: Ep 3- Intro to Chemo on Apple Podcasts