We have arrived at the part of our journey where Neyland has been declared in remission! This news brought great joy to our family, and especially him. For him this meant that he was finally going to be a kid again, and do what kids his age normally do. We couldn't have been more happy for him, but for us parents, it was still a tug of war mentally. You were excited, full of happiness, and just relieved that the battle was over, but in the back of your mind, there was still that lingering thought of what if it comes back.
You see that's one thing that isn't talked about a lot, when it comes to remission. I personally don't think there is ever true remission. This isn't to take away from the moment, because it is a great moment when you hear the doctor say those words about your child. However, was the damage already done, mentally? All that our family had went through over the last couple of years, just wasn't going to leave our minds. We all have read the statistics, and know that there is always a possibility of it returning, especially in the first few years. This is why I say there really isn't true remission, mentally anyways. No matter what, you have that fear enter your mind whenever your child coughs, has a runny nose, temperature, or even a bruise pops up that worries you more than maybe it should. This is what it's like for parents that have experience childhood cancer. The thought is always going to be there, that it can return, and you will always have that thought of looking over your shoulder, to see if it has come back. It's something that doesn't have to ruin the good moments of being in remission, but it is something that will always be a parent's first thought when their child has something happen. Parents looking over their shoulder, haunted by the thought of it returning, is something we've all dealt with, that has lived or currently living in the world of Childhood Cancer.
Check out Episode 5 now on our website at www.cancerdadpodcast.com