Jan. 26, 2022

IF YOU COULD ONLY BE TWO PLACES AT ONCE

     There are all kinds of struggles that you endure, as a parent, when you child is battling cancer.  Just watching your child go through it all, is hard enough, but when you have multiple children, the struggle of it all intensifies.  I am not saying the journey is more difficult when you have multiple children, than if you just have the one child who is sick, but I do think the level of difficulty is greater.  There is just so many things you have to face, as a parent, and for me, one of the greatest struggles, is needing to be in two places at once.  You know it's not physically possible, but that doesn't stop your mind from trying to be.

     This was something that my wife and I, have dealt with a lot over the last several years. The desire to be in two places at once was probably the strongest during the time that I speak about in the most recent episode on my podcast.  It's something that is mentally draining, and no matter what you do, you can't just eliminate the thought.  When your child is in the hospital for treatments or sickness, and you are with them, you are constantly wondering how things are at home.  When you are the one at home with the other children, you constantly wonder how things are going at the hospital.  It's a never ending cycle, and will wear you out quicker than anything.  This is just one example of how much it would help to be in two places at once.  

     One thing that goes without saying, is when dealing with this, and having multiple children, you are guaranteed to miss out on things, or not be there for one or the other.  This is something my wife and I have talked about on multiple occasions, over the years.  One thing I know that has bothered my wife for years, is missing out on a lot of our youngest son's first few years, or feeling like she has. She has always been the main person to stay with Neyland at hospital stays, and I always just give the breaks from time to time.  By doing so, as you can figure, she was away a lot, and to this day it bothers her.  It's not that she regrets being there for Neyland, it's just she hates the thought of not being there for Cooper, our youngest.  There isn't a right answer, to this, and you do what you gotta do, but wouldn't it be nice, if she could have been in two places at once?  Technically she was mentally, just like either one of us were, but not being there physically, takes a toll on you mentally and emotionally.  It's no one's fault, even though as parents you feel like it's yours, but the simple fact is, you are not able to be in two places at once, which is unfortunate, because the idea of being able to do that, would be beneficial to so many within the world of childhood cancer.