Jan. 14, 2022

"I don't know how to help"

     One aspect of life within the world of childhood cancer that doesn't get addressed enough, how to handle this type of situation if you are one that is on the outside looking in, as a close friend's or family member's family takes on that battle against cancer.  There's a lot, and I mean a lot, of negative things I can say about cancer and what it does.  However, in our one experience, one positive thing, is you see that there is a lot of good still in the world.  We've personally had more people than we can count show our son, and family, incredible support, in many different ways.  There's no denying that, but what about those that want to help, but they just don't know how.  They don't know what to do, or what to say, when it comes to everything going on.  I have had a couple of conversations with people, where that's what is mentioned.  They don't know what to do or say, and gives them a sense of helplessness, because they have the want too, but not the how too.  I want to tell those people, that it's okay.

     My most recent conversation about this came with one of my best friends.  We were talking about the current situation with my son, and he said "I know there's nothing I can say, and I don't know what I can do to help, but just know if there is anything we can do or that you all need, just say the word".  The last part of his statement, is really what I want you all to notice and focus on, because he answered his own question.  For me personally, and I don't want to speak for my, but I think she feels the same way, literally having those people that you know you can count on when the time comes, is a burden lifted in itself.  There's nothing more gratifying than knowing that when you are going through some of the darkest days of your life, you have that foundation of support to fall back on when, or if, you need it.  I told him that exact thing during our conversation, as well.  I let him know that knowing he is there, if I need him or something, is as much support, if not greater, than the rest of the types of support we receive.  So for all you out there that may be in the same boat, feeling helpless, because you don't know how to help someone in a situation like this, make sure you understand that concept.  If the person knows that they can count on you when or if the time comes, then you are doing plenty for them, without doing anything.  You can't put a value on having people like that in your corner when the storms come,  For those in that category, you aren't helpless....you are priceless!